Fucky Film Review!

Going Out For Some T and A

If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you’ve emailed me to say you were coming to Tel Aviv and asked for dining recommendations, and I replied by sending you a link to this page. First of all, congratulations on following the link and using internet. Second of all, you can get more information about these restaurants, bars, clubs and cafes by googling them. Enjoy!

FOOD

Bar Barbunia  — בר ברבוניה

Table full of salads precedes a fresh piece of fish.  Loose maritime / rock and roll theme. Full on restaurant across the street also works, often works even better. Ben Yehuda St.

Hotel Montefiore

Boutique hotel with excellent food. Part of the M&R empire (there’s a reason empires are empires – see also: Brasserie, Rothschild 12, Coffee Bar, etc).  Montefiore St.

North Abraxas — צפון אברקסס

Fancy finger foods, meats and veggies from celeb chef Ayal Sheni. See also HaMiznon (Ibn Gvirol St) for all the above, in a pita.

Gabai  — גבאי

My favorite falafel in Tel Aviv. Good soups for winter soup eating. Bugrashov St.

La Gaterie — לה גאטרי

Croissant + poached egg + gourmet cheese and/or sausage = delicious. King George St.

HaSabich (Efi’s) — הסביח של אפי

Far and away the best Sabich (razor thin slices of eggplant, fresh salads, potatoes, hardboiled egg and tehina in a pita) in Tel Aviv or perhaps the world.  Tchernchovsky St.

Vitrina — ויטרינה

Homemade sausages served like hot dogs. Tasty.  Ibn Gvirol St.

Orna and Ella — אורנה ואלה

Tel Aviv mainstay – fresh and clean, all white interior, no music, excellent deserts. Shenkin St.

Hummus . . . חומוס

The best Hummus is the closest to where you are. But Meshousha (Pinsker St.), and Abu Hassan aka Caravan (Jaffa) are my faves.

Rafael — רפאל

Chef restaurant in the Dan Hotel  – super fresh and tasty.  HaYarkon St.

Yoezer Bar Yayin — יועזר בר יין

Cavernous intimate restaurant with the best steaks in town. Jaffa.

Kerem HaTeymanim – כרם התימנים

Lots of little joints serving Middle Eastern and North African home cooking. Yeminite Quarter.

The Pizza — הפיצה

Brick oven. Bugrashov St.

The Basta — הבסטה

Expensive hors devours, fine meats and seafood just off the Carmel Market.  Hashomer St.

Herbert Samuel — הרברט סמואל

Fine dining with an emphasis on sea food.  Good business lunch. Herbert Samuel St.

DRINK

Minzar  —  מנזר

24 bar – best place to for first drink of the day or last drink of the night. The food is the quiet star – I often eat dinner here.  Hillel HaZaken St.

Port Said — פורט סעיד

Everyone sits outside at tables and on the steps in the courtyard of the Great Synagogue, which since the advent of the summertime pop-up bar “TEDER” has become something of a spot.  Also has good food. Allenby St.

Reality Rehab Center

Secret basement music venue with live shows every night. Kind of young and punk and awesome. Next to the Galileo Hotel on Beit Yosef St.

Silon — סילון

1+1 happy hour from 17:00-20:00 with a nice little free cru d’etat platter. King George St.

Armadillo – ארמרדילו

Golden hued lighting, indie rock, very easygoing. Ahad Ha’am St. + another location on Diezengoff St.

Abraxis  —  אבראקסס

Dark with loud electronic music, solid DJs and the oldest crowds you’ll find in a bar. Lilenblum.

Saluna — סלונה

Hangar art space with lots of couches. Jaffa.

The Block

The only club to dance at that’s not an absolute shit show. Salame St near the Central Bus Station.

Ozen Bar – אוזן בר

Live music most every night. Has a real venue kind of feel, with felt curtains and a nice bar. King George.

Shaffa – שאפה

Live middle eastern and tavern music in a cozy bar with lots of outdoor seating in the Jaffa flea market. Rabi Nahman St.

C O F F E E

The cappuccino at a gas station is likely to be better than whatever you’re used to getting at home, unless you live in Italy.  Here are the four I find myself going back to the most.

Meshulash — משולש

Merced — מרסד

Sheleg — שלג

Bialik  — ביאלק

FUCKY SHIT TO DO

The Tel Aviv Museum of Art has a new wing that’s nice and the contemporary collection has a few gems, but for something a bit more out of the ordinary, check out the Design Museum Holon.

The Jaffa Flea Market is no longer a place to hunt for bargains – you’ll probably do much better at home – but if you get there early enough and head to the outdoor-on-the-floor portion, you might find an old leather satchel, and anyhow the real draw now is the food and drinks – scores of bars and restaurants have opened along the side streets off of the market, and the whole thing is within walking distance of the Old Jaffa Port, which despite the renovations still has some charm.  Just south of the port is a giant park that was built on what used to be a dump behind the Jaffa neighborhood of Ajami.

The New Central Bus Station is one of the world’s greatest architectural failures, an eyesore of epic proportions. But over the years it has become the epicenter of Tel Aviv’s rapidly growing migrant population.  Peopled with asylum seekers, construction workers, farm hands and hospice workers from Africa, Eastern Europe, and all over Asia, the place has come to resemble the depot on Mars in the film Total Recall.  Leaving the station and heading up the pedestrian walkway of Neve Shananan you will feel more than anywhere else in Israel what made it such a strategic stronghold in the first place – the mixing of cultures along migratory routes.  If you’re going to stop in somewhere, I’d recommend the large African tea rooms – they are the most lively and safe.

If you’re into it, try to see a modern dance performance at the Suzanne Dellal Center in Neve Tzedek.  Modern dance is where Israelis excel on a world stage.

To have your heart broken about twenty times an hour, go sit on the lawn at Tel Aviv University’s Faculty for the Humanities.

Alma Beach, between Tel Aviv and Jaffa, is probably the grooviest.

 

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